I love my moms house, I really do, so when I move out I’m not settling for just anything. I want more. And I want what’s going to keep me happy. Something that’s been just done. Bathroom kitchen, rooms, living room. The whole nine. Apartment searching is harder than I thought. But so worth it. #moving out.
So these past two years I changed a lot. Yea I admit I did. I went from having every guy on my ass to having one that was actually worth something to me. I went from being with my friends 24-7 to thinking about my family and my future. I changed the way I think and the way I do things. And its only because I want the better things in life. I’m trying to succeed in order to live my life to the fullest. I have to work hard during the day and at night I can do whatever it is that my heart desires. But I have to be smart. And I’ve learned this. These past two years I changed mostly because of him. Because I want to better for me and for him. I hope we make it, I hope we last thru all the rough times God has planed for us, because I love him and yea I’m young still and have plenty to learn. But you don’t live my life, you don’t know what I’ve been thru. I’m smarter than what I look and I can do pretty much anything. So let me live MY life. Thanks for listening..
03 29 2010 when my heart died.
With everything we went thru I thought we were still the perfect couple. Why me you know?… After everything I put in I still get nothing in return. :’( don’t know why I bother. Please someone save me from this horrible nightmare. After a week and two days it just fucking hit me. I lost you. :’( just kill me.
For all my life, I thought about who ill spend the rest of my life with, who ill grow old with, who would be the father of my kids, and who I would wake up to every single day. Having a great job so I don’t have to worry or depend on anyone. its what I want in life. My dream. And as I’m getting older I see my high school friends getting married and having kids, building their on lives and careers, doing something with their lives and moving on to what they always dreamed. and I’m just home thinking like damn, when am I going to do something. When is it my turn to make something out of myself. I’m trying, you know? I’m trying to do good and ive been working my ass off at a part time job. I don’t want to work my ass off. I want my life to be easier so that I can raise a family and they will have it easier. Life is stressful and to some its like life is in their hands, while I’m still trying to catch up with it. I’m tired of sitting around. I need to get out there. I need motivation, I need hapoiness. No stress. No worries.
I found the person I want to spend my life with, its scary though. Because I have to wake up and wonder if we going to make it through another day. I’ve become so weak because of Worring about it. Because of having to fight for what I want for the next day. And I don’t want to have to fight for what I want. Because if it really wanted me back there would be no fighting at all. I need to find the strength that I will use to bring myself up to speed and up so that I can be where I want to be and by next year, I will be there and I will have no worries. Because why? Because I deserve it and because I want and need it. I will live my dream.
I’m starting to think doing it to you will be the only why to get you to understand.
We need to get away to a vacation. And stop telling me you want to marry me. Dk next month. Like dude I know its not happening so don’t tell me something that’s not going to happen.
Crying is a sign of weakness.
Im gonna be where I want in my life because I put myself there And I’m going to be happy because I make myself happy.
Whens the world Gunna change?
Wishing I wouldn’t give a FUCK!!!!!
